


so let me hold you

by callyoutonight



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Danny just wants to be held, Dialogue Heavy, M/M, Multi, Sleepiness, almost a drabble honestly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-15 20:55:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29814282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/callyoutonight/pseuds/callyoutonight
Summary: They look so peaceful like this. With this recognition comes a pang of something uneasy in Danny’s chest — not quite jealousy, but not straying far from it, either. He can’t deny that he’d always been a little bit in awe of how easily Drew and Kurtis had fallen into touching each other and being in each other’s space, even when it was only platonic.
Relationships: Danny Gonzalez/Drew Gooden, Kurtis Conner/Danny Gonzalez, Kurtis Conner/Drew Gooden, Kurtis Conner/Drew Gooden/Danny Gonzalez
Comments: 6
Kudos: 22





	so let me hold you

Danny stares at the ceiling, eyes burning, and sighs. He’s never been good at going to bed early, especially when he needs to. 

He’d retired to bed a little bit earlier than usual, _trying_ to get his sleeping schedule back on track after a couple of late nights spent editing, but he just… can’t. It doesn’t help that he’s alone in bed, either, when he’s used to having two warm bodies pressed up against him. 

The door is cracked open, and he can see the soft lamplight of the living room cast partway down the hallway. He knows Drew and Kurtis are in there; they’d been talking about some movie they wanted to watch before going to bed. Danny should have joined them, but instead here he is, tossing and turning in the sheets. 

_Fuck this,_ Danny decides. He sits up, running a hand through his hair. He’s not going to sleep any time soon, so he might as well see what they’re up to. He slips out of bed, makes his way to the bedroom door, and opens it the rest of the way as quietly as possible to get a peek at what’s going on. 

Drew’s sitting on the floor, his back resting against the couch. Kurtis is curled up in Drew’s lap, completely asleep, with his face smushed against Drew’s shoulder. The blue light of the TV is cast over both of them, reflecting in Drew’s glasses, which are slipping down his nose. One of Drew’s hands is slowly carding through Kurtis’s hair, but his eyelids are fluttering. It’s pretty apparent that he’ll be asleep too in a matter of minutes if Danny doesn’t come and get them both into bed. 

Part of him doesn’t want to disturb them, though. They look so peaceful like this. With this recognition comes a pang of something uneasy in Danny’s chest — not quite jealousy, but not straying far from it, either. He can’t deny that he’d always been a little bit in awe of how easily Drew and Kurtis had fallen into touching each other and being in each other’s space, even when it was only platonic. It had taken Danny much longer to get to that level — with Drew, at least; Kurtis has always been pretty willingly tactile with anyone who asks — and they’d been closer for longer. 

Sometimes, just sometimes, he wishes Drew had opened himself up that easily when they first met, too. He’d enjoy being held like that, now that he thinks about it. 

Maybe he could talk to Drew about it? He’s learned by now that Drew very much values direct communication, which means Danny is going to have to actually run this by him instead of dropping hints. 

So he pads down the hallway and into the living room as quietly as he can in socked feet, giving a little wave when Drew looks up from the TV and sees him. He settles himself on the floor on Drew’s more open side. “Hey. You look tired.”

“Hey,” Drew whispers back, turning his head to kiss him. Danny sighs happily into it, unable to keep himself from smiling. He pulls away, feeling his chest fill and hold, and Drew looks at him with an unmasked fondness. “I thought you were already asleep, babe.”

Danny’s heart flips. He loves it when Drew drops the teasing nicknames and genuinely calls him pet names, especially in his tired voice. “I tried. Couldn’t fall asleep without you and K, I guess.”

“Cute,” Drew remarks, his lips quirking into a smile. “I mean, he’s asleep and I’m not really watching anymore, so we can head to bed. I’ve just been avoiding waking the beast.”

“I can try to help you carry him or something,” Danny offers. “I mean, I don’t know how it would go. But we could try.”

“You’re sweet.” Danny feels the tenderness of that shoot through his chest, across his shoulders, and down his spine. “Let’s give him a few minutes and see if he wakes up on his own. If not, we can try to pick him up and then accidentally knock him into every wall in the house.”

“Sure, sure. But, uh,” Danny says, feeling the nervousness coil in his stomach, “can I ask you something?”

“You don’t have to ask me to ask a question,” Drew teases, but his voice is warm, and it melts away just a bit of the anxiety. He loves seeing Drew like this, under the layers upon layers of sarcasm and dry humor he wears like armor. “But yeah, of course. Ask away.”

Danny leans into him and dusts a couple of light kisses over his jaw. He adores both of them so much, and he loves that Drew always lets him be the little spoon when they spend alone time as it is, and he knows neither of his partners would be mad, but sometimes he’s scared to ask for things like this. He doesn’t want to take something away from Drew and Kurtis that could be just _theirs_ , the same way that Drew draping himself over Danny like a blanket when he wants him to stop editing and come to bed is theirs. They all have different dynamics, but they all work so well together, and Danny doesn’t want to be the one who throws that off. He pulls away, retreating into his own space. 

“Okay. Uh.” Danny starts, avoiding eye contact. “Can you… hold me?”

Drew’s head cocks to the side just a bit, like a confused dog. “Right now? I mean, I would, but I don’t want to wake Kurtis up.”

Danny shakes his head, waving off that response. “No, no, I don’t mean _now,_ I just– I mean– in general.” He pauses for a second, looks up to meet Drew’s gaze. “I mean, I know we already cuddle and whatever sometimes, but I don’t know. I see how much you hold Kurtis and I want that, too. Is that weird? Would that mess anything up?”

“I can hold you too,” Drew says, slipping his hand into Danny’s and smiling at him. “I guess… I don’t know. It’s just something Kurtis and I started doing that you and I never really did as much, so it never occurred to me. But that doesn’t mean we can’t.”

“ _Nngh,_ ” Kurtis says, finally half-roused from his slumber by their voices. “What’sa… who’s… _hrm._ ”

“Yeah, me too, babe,” Drew teases, patting Kurtis’s hip. Kurtis doesn’t even dignify that with a response, just further buries his face into Drew’s shirt in an attempt to go all the way back to sleep. 

Danny reaches out to flick Kurtis on the cheek, who groans in response. “C’mon, angel, we have to go to bed. Otherwise Drew’s gonna fall asleep sitting up, and then we have to listen to him complain all day tomorrow.”

“Two things,” Kurtis mumbles, sleepily holding up two fingers as if he’s about to give a speech. “One, we’re gonna hear Drew complaining about something all day anyway. It’s Drew.”

“I’m literally _right_ here,” Drew interjects. 

“And _two_ ,” Kurtis continues, “did you just call me _angel_ instead of _bitchboy_ or some dumb shit like that?”

Danny can feel a flush spreading over his cheeks. “I mean, if you don’t _like_ it…”

Kurtis scoffs. “No. I fucking love it, and you should call me it all the time, actually.”

“Gross,” Drew teases. “ _Gross._ ”

“Just because you’re emotionally constipated doesn’t mean _we_ have to be,” Kurtis fires off, and Drew shoves him out of his lap. “Okay, ow.”

“C’mon, let’s go to bed for real. I know how cranky both of you get when you don’t get your full eight hours,” Drew says, stretching over his head, wincing a bit at the soreness in his back. Danny runs a sympathetic hand over the span of his shoulders, and the look Drew gives him in return betrays his previous snark. They get to their feet, Kurtis still collapsed on the floor.

“Help me up,” Kurtis groans, reaching his arms up toward both of them. 

“What, little baby can’t get up on his own?” Drew says, barely masking a smile. 

Kurtis rolls his eyes. “I’m tired. I’m not putting in any more effort than I have to, dude.”

“Ouch. Did you hear that, Danny? I’ve been downgraded to _dude_ ,” Drew plays along, pulling Kurtis to his feet. For the second time in the span of ten seconds, Kurtis rolls his eyes, but he leans into Drew affectionately. Drew ruffles his hair, and Kurtis closes his eyes, tilting his head up into it.

Danny feels his heart clench, but in a good way. It’s the type of ache that comes with knowing he couldn’t possibly adore two people more. “He was just asleep all over you, Drew. I think he’s fine.”

“It’s bedtime, bro. It’s nighty night, dude,” Kurtis says, rubbing his eyes. “Also, did you mean what you said about carrying me?”


End file.
